A Funeral In The Philippines

My husband, my youngest daughter and I were on our way to a wake last night. The mother of a friend had passed away.

While we were driving, my migraine peaked so bad that we had to turn around and head home. Perhaps it was my body's way of telling me that I wasn't prepared to face another funeral, especially of a friend's Mom.

We have only recently had my Mom's funeral - just a month ago. We also had my Dad's funeral a year ago. I am the only child and these two funerals just a year apart have been very difficult for me.

It was a great consolation that Philippine funerals are marked with such solid support from family and friends.

My husband, our kids and I spent all five days and nights at the funeral parlor. It meant sleeping on the coach and sleeping bags in the anteroom or wooden pews in the main chapel.

There was also a spacious toilet-and-bath, as well as a kitchen sink, refrigerator and dining set in the anteroom.

Relatives and friends would come and stay with us from mid-morning until midnight everyday. They provided most of the food and drinks for everyone. There were always shopping bags full of biscuits, nuts, candies, tetrapaks of juice and 3-in-1 packs of instant coffee. There were boxes of pastries and platters of noodles. Some even brought us rice and viand at mealtimes.

There were plenty of flowers, too, and mass cards. The mass cards meant masses would be said perpetually for my Mom's soul in many churches by various congregations.

While there were plenty of visitors I was fine. I was busy talking to everyone. After they left, I would be too exhausted to feel anything else.

Just being surrounded by family and friends was very comforting. They especially came in full force during the cremation. My two daughters and I were quite overcome with emotion while waiting for the urn and they kindly allowed us to nap in the anteroom while they stayed on in the chapel, waiting with us.

It was almost the same experience we had during my Dad's funeral last year, except that I was then focused on comforting my Mom. I realized that it was much more difficult this time when I no longer had that "escape."

There were some superstitious beliefs that were pointed out to us during the funeral, too. A popular one was for the deceased's immediate family not to step outside the threshhold when seeing guests out. Doing so would reportedly mean that another death would come to the family. We decided to abide by such beliefs, if only for the peace of mind of those who believed in them. It was a small thing in exchange for the warmth of the Filipino funeral tradition.

I am glad that these funerals were held in the bosom of our family right here in the Philippines.